To Teach Or Not To Teach.

So the same friend that is from the previous post sent me an email about a position teaching chess to middle school kids that was posted on Craigslist. I will refer to him from now on as "Dude" as to not put his business on the web. Dude has the best of intentions despite the fact that he is recently unemployed. I just quit one job so another sounds silly at first but upon further investigation I find it pays thirty dollars an hour but only for three hours a week. That's a fine wage for a thirty year old man to pursue his hobby. I say what the hell and set up an informal interview. We settle into Starbucks on one of the first days of the establishing cold. Chilly I should say but for those of you in the south its down right cold. He drops a board on the table and we talk casually over a nicely paced game that I tank on purpose. He asks questions, I ask questions and the universe is in harmony. "Do you mind wearing a sailor hat?" he asks me. What in the hell kind of question is that? Grown men don't wear sailor hats unless they live in San Fransisco or are actually in the Navy. Which begs the question, but I didn't ask. Admittedly kids are as foreign to me as reverse bulimia, but I have no intention of ruining a perfectly good hobby by humiliation. "Yes it does bother me." I say concerned. Then I proceed to schedule a day to start training in the hopes that the sailor hat thing will magically disappear. It didn't. I show up at an intermediate school (Is that what they are calling middle schools these days? Is middle school now somehow offensive?) and much to my dismay the teacher is in full mock sailor uniform. At that moment of time realization struck me that it was never going to happen. Who can pass up an opportunity to watch a grown man in a sailor outfit try to teach bratty rich kids chess immediately after the school day is over? I cant. So I hung around and watched as a couple kids understood what was going on and the others.... well here's a list of what you can expect if you ever decide to pursue such a thing:

Peacefully setting up the board only to yank the roll up out excitedly like Copperfield before the ruffies set in.

Reaching behind another player to snatch their king for an excuse to run in circles wildly.

Broken Queens.

Pawns will enter nasal cavities. I didn't think it was possible either.

One kid going ballistic because hes obviously starved for attention in his home life.

Someone will cry.

Now I know something about kids. Until I have my own they are obnoxious little monsters.

Captain Stupid Questions

So I'm getting a leisurely game in with a Friend of mine a couple weeks ago. The game goes well for me in spite of the fact that one or two games per week has been the norm lately. I make some unsound moves but somehow pull ahead in position. Then I lose all sense of chessality (chess reality) and hand him everything he wants positionally in the middle game. Seriously, the middle game used to be my strong point back when contemplation and artistic thought were the joys of the play. What has changed? Everything. That probably has something to do with it. Alas, I end up fighting out a lost endgame against someone whose vision of the endgame has been superior to mine for a long time. But about half way through the endgame something interestingly retarded happens. A guy in a local phone company outfit starts watching from a few feet away. Now normally this doesn't bother me, in fact usually its for the better as someone who stops to watch most likely has some experience and thus a reasonable sense of insight. As apposed to inshight which is when an onlooker thinks they have some sagaciousness going for them but its actually useless dribble. You can imagine which one this guy had. So he watched the remaining few moves of the game and then decries to me "were you white?" At this point I'm thinking maybe he doesn't know the game well, we will answer a few questions and hell vanish into phone company land. Alas, this is not the case. He proceeds to hang around and make statements like "I used to play in tournaments" and "I was state champion back in" blah blah blah. Seriously it is some sort of coffeehouse phenomenon that every state champion of every year in every state hangs around the Milwaukee loop. I imagine their is a unique brand of wormhole located in the ninth dimension of a trophy somewhere, sucking state champions into circa 2007 Milwaukee. So this guy proceeds to tell me that I will play better if I look six moves ahead each move. Thanks for the advice douchebag I never would have thought that. After that gem things start to get uncomfortable. Mind you its intentional on my part because ten minutes of this have been quite enough. My friend agrees and clearly is working toward the same end. So the guy leaves and I ask "If you could give that guy a name what would it be?" He says "Captain Stupid Questions." All is right with the world once again.

omnis consecrare prima luce

From Wikipedia:

Halloween did not become a holiday in the United States until the 19th century, where lingering Puritan tradition restricted the observance of many holidays. American almanacs of the late 18th and early 19th centuries do not include Halloween in their lists of holidays.[17] The transatlantic migration of nearly two million Irish following the Irish Potato Famine (1845–1849) finally brought the holiday to the United States. Scottish emigration from the British Isles, primarily to Canada before 1870 and to the United States thereafter, brought the Scottish version of the holiday to each country.
Scottish-American and Irish-American societies held dinners and balls that celebrated their heritages, with perhaps a recitation of Robert Burns' poem "Halloween" or a telling of Irish legends, much as Columbus Day celebrations were more about Italian-American heritage than Columbus per se. Home parties would center around children's activities, such as bobbing for apples, and various divination games often concerning future romance. Not surprisingly, pranks and mischief were common as well.

Don't forget to check out the one and only Halloween webcam where the entertainment of trick or treaters is at your leisure: http://www.komar.org/cgi-bin/halloween_webcam

Fear

Is it superficial?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-pu78b9XvFg

White PawnShaman2

Back IlyaP8

1.e4 e5

2.d4 exd4

3.c3 dxc3

4.Bf1c4 cxb2

5.Bc1xb2 d5

6.Bc4xd5 c6

7.Bd5xf7+ 1-0

This article cracked me up. This guy writes a blog about cars and using logic and a slippery slope argument he concludes that thier may be "a national crisis in which flaming squirrels are plummeting from our skies."

Taking a break momentarily from my own Car Lusting, I wanted to give a brief nod to the New Jersey-area squirrel that destroyed a 2006 Toyota Camry.According to the news story, a squirrel had been chewing on a power line suspended above the Camry; when the squirrel chewed through the line, the power of the current lit it on fire, and the flaming rodent "slid into the engine compartment and blew up the car." The car was a total loss, but the family honored the squirrel flambe with a plastic tombstone--happily, just in time for Halloween.

This leaves some important questions unanswered. For example:

1. Is there some significance that the squirrel chose a 2006 Toyota Camry to immolate? Was the squirrel imbued with especially strong buy-American leanings? If so, the squirrel should issue a strong apology to the good people in Georgetown, Ky., who make the Camry.

2. How exactly did the flaming squirrel slide into the engine compartment? Was the hood open? Otherwise, I don't want to think about how a half-immolated squirrel might get into the engine compartment.

3. If one squirrel chews on power lines, I'm guessing more do. And if millions of squirrels nationwide are chewing on power lines, I'm guessing this isn't the only one to chew through and light itself on fire.

Is there a national crisis in which flaming squirrels are plummeting from our skies? If so, it's being dramatically underreported by the media. I, for one, am worried.

--Chris H.

Strip Chess

A friend of mine relayed a story to me recently. He played strip chess with a girl and then they did it. I don't know the intimate details because I wasn't their, thankfully. But if I knew them I would share them with you. The epitome of nerdiness and grand symbol of status were combined and that deserves its own post. You know who you are.... Ahole.

This post has been receiving an enormous amount of traffic lately, so Ive taken the initiative and updated it for those more interested in the aforementioned topic. Pervs...

Wikipedia on Strip Chess:

Chess
Strip chess is a variant of chess in which an article of clothing is removed for each piece taken by the opponent, often excluding pawns.

Strip chess introduces a secondary goal which can diverge from the game's normal goal and substantially alter the way the game is pursued. While in some games (such as poker), the pursuit of the normal win condition also furthers the disrobing of one's opponent, in strip chess this is not always the case. In chess, the normal win condition is to checkmate the opponent, not to capture pieces. Capturing pieces is often useful, but if at a given time, a player is to choose between checkmating his opponent and capturing a piece, he would traditionally be expected to checkmate. However, in strip chess, the player may prefer to capture a piece to force their opponent to remove additional garments.

In chess, there is no actual relation between strategic success and the number of individual garments lost, because in chess, there is no numeric way to measure which person has the upper hand (unless you are counting the value of each piece); the number garments lost, and therefore the number of pieces captured, is only an approximate measure of success (as opposed to strip poker, where an inverse relationship exists between success in the game and the number of garments lost).

Classic Rules of Strip Chess:

If you want to keep things simple, then stick with the classic rules of strip chess. Both players wear no more than 10 articles of clothing (2 socks, 2 shoes, underwear, pants, undershirt or bra, belt, and 2 accessories are common). Each time a Knight, Bishop, or Rook is captured, then whoever’s piece was taken removes one article of clothing. However, if one of those above pieces is captured by a pawn, then two pieces of clothing come off. If the queen is captured, two pieces comes off. A player can get one article of clothing back if his or her King or Queen takes a piece. Checkmate means the loser must take off three pieces of clothing.

For a longer version of the game, where the loser isn’t determined by checkmate, is when a player is simply checked, that player removes one piece of clothing. The loser is the one who gets completely nude.

P.S. If you like this page or this site, make a donation of $1. These are tough times, every little bit helps.

Contrast

This morning I was playing a disastrous game as white on line. We had started vying for control of the center from the gates. Soon I was losing material and my position was cascading into a nightmare. Stubbornly determined to fight to the bitter end, my pieces were repositioning into a small defensive force part way up the right side of the board. Then the site crashed and the game disappeared into eternity.

Fast forward to this evening. Reading the news I followed a link to http://www.whitehouse.gov/ and read the Presidents speech where he presents the Medal of Honor to a fallen Navy SEAL. People like this actually exist and are fighting bravely probably even as I type this. Its amazing when brave souls have the courage to battle the enemy in the worst of terrains, outnumbered and in a lost position. This morning I pretended in a mock battle. This afternoon someone who gave their life with the spirit of a true soldier is honored.

Two excerps from the speech:

Today, we add Lieutenant Michael Murphy's name to the list of recipients who have made the ultimate sacrifice. Deep in the mountains of Afghanistan, this brave officer gave his life in defense of his fellow Navy SEALs. Two years later, the story of his sacrifice humbles and inspires all who hear it. And by presenting Michael Murphy's family with the Medal of Honor that he earned, a grateful nation remembers the courage of this proud Navy SEAL.

On June 28th, 2005, Michael would give his life for these ideals. While conducting surveillance on a mountain ridge in Afghanistan, he and three fellow SEALs were surrounded by a much larger enemy force. Their only escape was down the side of a mountain -- and the SEALs launched a valiant counterattack while cascading from cliff to cliff. But as the enemy closed in, Michael recognized that the survival of his men depended on calling back to the base for reinforcements. With complete disregard for his own life, he moved into a clearing where his phone would get reception. He made the call, and Michael then fell under heavy fire. Yet his grace and upbringing never deserted him. Though severely wounded, he said "thank you" before hanging up, and returned to the fight -- before losing his life.

And so it goes....

Ive decided to mix things up a little bit on this blog. Chess has definitely taken a back seat to other things like school, work (quit one of my jobs by the way, but were still on good terms)and a renewed social life. I'm still playing but quickly loosing the sharp, crisp view of the board that takes so long to acquire. With that in mind Ill be posting things that I find interesting or funny from time to time. Chess will still be the number one feature but as life changes so does blog.

Ondine's Curse is a disorder where the automatic respiratory functions are disabled. Every breath has to be voluntarily taken otherwise the person will die. Normally the autonomic nervous system will take over and "breath for you." We have that great option of choosing to breath voluntarily or not depending on our mood. So Ondine's Curse must be diagnosed quickly otherwise when the person falls asleep they will quickly die. Luckily for us it comes with a nice mythological story line which I snagged from Wikipedia.

Ondine was a water nymph in German mythology. She was very beautiful and (like all nymphs) immortal. One of the "only threats" to a nymph's eternal happiness is if she falls in love with a mortal and bears his child - she will lose her "gift" of everlasting life.

Ondine fell in love with a dashing knight - Sir Lawrence - and they were married. When they exchanged vows, Lawrence said, "My every waking breath shall be my pledge of love and faithfulness to you." A year after their marriage Ondine gave birth to Lawrence’s son. From that moment on she began to age. As Ondine’s physical attractiveness diminished, Lawrence lost interest in his wife.

One afternoon Ondine was walking near the stables when she heard the familiar snoring of her husband. When she entered the stable, however, she saw Lawrence lying in the arms of another woman. Ondine pointed her finger at him - Lawrence felt it as if he was being kicked, and woke up with a start. Ondine uttered her curse: "You swore faithfulness to me with every waking breath, and I accepted your oath. So be it. As long as you are awake, you shall have your breath, but should you ever fall asleep, then that breath will be taken from you and you will die!"

Warning Signs

Dont let this happen to you. This guy wants to kill one person for every square of the chessboard. He almost succeeded. If you have any of these symptoms while playing chess stop what your doing and do not murder:

Desire to Kill
Insanity
Love of Cats

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6987688.stm

Kasparov was trying to run for office in Russia. It didnt work out so well. Atleast hes not dead and someone in that country still believes in basic democratic freedoms. The video in the upper right of the screen is quite good. But I dont know how long it will last.

http://www.foxnews.com/wires/2007Oct10/0,4670,RussiaOpposition,00.html