Captain Stupid Questions

So I'm getting a leisurely game in with a Friend of mine a couple weeks ago. The game goes well for me in spite of the fact that one or two games per week has been the norm lately. I make some unsound moves but somehow pull ahead in position. Then I lose all sense of chessality (chess reality) and hand him everything he wants positionally in the middle game. Seriously, the middle game used to be my strong point back when contemplation and artistic thought were the joys of the play. What has changed? Everything. That probably has something to do with it. Alas, I end up fighting out a lost endgame against someone whose vision of the endgame has been superior to mine for a long time. But about half way through the endgame something interestingly retarded happens. A guy in a local phone company outfit starts watching from a few feet away. Now normally this doesn't bother me, in fact usually its for the better as someone who stops to watch most likely has some experience and thus a reasonable sense of insight. As apposed to inshight which is when an onlooker thinks they have some sagaciousness going for them but its actually useless dribble. You can imagine which one this guy had. So he watched the remaining few moves of the game and then decries to me "were you white?" At this point I'm thinking maybe he doesn't know the game well, we will answer a few questions and hell vanish into phone company land. Alas, this is not the case. He proceeds to hang around and make statements like "I used to play in tournaments" and "I was state champion back in" blah blah blah. Seriously it is some sort of coffeehouse phenomenon that every state champion of every year in every state hangs around the Milwaukee loop. I imagine their is a unique brand of wormhole located in the ninth dimension of a trophy somewhere, sucking state champions into circa 2007 Milwaukee. So this guy proceeds to tell me that I will play better if I look six moves ahead each move. Thanks for the advice douchebag I never would have thought that. After that gem things start to get uncomfortable. Mind you its intentional on my part because ten minutes of this have been quite enough. My friend agrees and clearly is working toward the same end. So the guy leaves and I ask "If you could give that guy a name what would it be?" He says "Captain Stupid Questions." All is right with the world once again.